Axed, popped, canned, shit canned, laid…off. It’s the white
collar death sentence. In this economy with
unemployment exceeding 9% nationally for 3 years having a job is quite the
accomplishment. I read somewhere that
only half of college graduates since 2006 have jobs, and now I have joined the
unfortunate half.
Because my blog is a happy place, I haven’t been able to
write for some time. While I do express various frustrations here, it’s all
part of loving everything, all of the stuff in life. The frustrations and challenges keep it real and
give us inspiration for making or doing something better or different. When you get laid off , these basic premises
of life are more difficult to discern and balance. For example, the “lay off” or “rif” is
carried out in a very meticulous and strategic way. There is a script, and no matter how much you
think you know the person you work for, the HR people, and any of the
leadership the ONLY thing they can say to you is: “It was a business decision”. Here is a little dialogue from when I was
canned.
Boss: “We had to make a tough business decision to reduce
staff, and your position was selected to be eliminated”.
Me: “Okay, I understand that. What about other positions that
are open at the firm, we have a few online that I feel I would be qualified
for, and I already know the business well so it would be an easy transition.”
HR Person: “We made an announcement to reduce staff, and we
have made a business decision to eliminate your position”
Me: “I understand that, however I’ve been approached by other
department leaders that wanted to hire me because I have a good reputation at
the firm, I’m licensed, and can work in different areas. If I would have known that my position would
be eliminated, I would have taken any of these jobs, even at a reduced
salary. I really don’t want to be unemployed
right now.”
Boss: “Your work was great, but with the recent announcements
to sell assets etc… we do not need your department… I’m not good at this HR
Person is better at explaining these things.”
HR Person, (who is very nice, but doesn’t know anything about
my job, and would have to go back to school to understand it): “Yes, it’s not a reflection on you, this was
a BUSINESS DECISION, we regret to let you go.
We have prepared a severance package that I would like to explain to you
now.”
Me: “Okay, let’s take a look.”
HR Person: “Blah blah balh, severance agreement, Blah Blah, Balh
COBRA, Blah Blah Blah Blah, move your 401K, blah blha Business Decision, blah
blah, outplacement firm…”
Boss: "I’ll wait to escort
you out of the building.,”
Me: Thanks, I’ll be quick.
In the next room, a
very kind small guy waits to “counsel” me about what just happened. I enter the
room:
Outplacement firm guy: "Hello, my name is “Bill”, I’m here to
help you.”
Me: “Thanks Bill, I don’t have much time to talk right now
and I have a lot on my mind so can we reschedule?”
Bill: “Sure, I would be glad to talk to you, did you know you
were getting laid off?”
Me (not wanting to admit my formerly-irrational fear of
getting laid off): “No, but I have been looking since August for a better place
to work.”
Bill: “I understand, you need to work for a company that is
growing and I have some in mind that we can talk about when you’re ready. Here is a folder with some information. We would
like for you to come in soon to get started.”
Me: “Thanks Bill.”
Outiside HR Person and Boss are waiting. I go over to my cube and Boss is apologizing again
and again, but it’s too late for me. If he really wanted to help his chance was
weeks ago. I packed up my things while he waited, and asked him to give various
items to other people around the office.
Then we went outside and I stuck around for a bit while he
had a cigarette. He didn’t even offer me
one. It would have been the perfect way to finish the layoff in style! Rather,
a few other smokers from work came out, and in order not to make this situation
any more awkward I decided to leave.
So yeah, it was a “Business Decision”. Boss, did any of your happy hour buddies get rif-ed?
I’m not upset with Boss, I’m upset with myself for getting
into this situation. I should have hustled, and gotten into a more secure position.
Instead, I was trusting and hoping that since Boss never mentioned anything
negative, that I was doing a good job. The truth that I learned is that he was avoiding
me because he could never fire a friend. Being nice and popular is important to
him. While I consider myself to be nice and popular, it’s not because I try to
be nice or popular. Rather, I try to be
kind and honest. You can be kind while
delivering bad news, which is necessary sometimes when you’re honest. People who don’t tell the truth, don’t like
to hear it. Reduction in Force (past tense)
SO, for those of you that know me personally, I was treated
very well by my previous employer and I hope that things will get better for
them, and trust that they are taking the steps necessary to right the ship! Ahoy!
That is my lay-off story.
I will try to write more
frequently for my supportive and beautiful audience (Lacey and Chelsea are the
best!).
