Adventures in Unemployment

Being unemployed has thought me a few things so far. You have to tread carefully in two minefields: Unemployment Benefits and Social Situations. Here are a few pointers I have learned to cope:

1.       Navigation of UI Benefits - Money can magically appear in your checking account!

Be Honest

When you register you have to provide a lot of information that they will use to determine your eligibility and weekly benefit amount. Everything is verified with your former employer so this will require some work on your part to find out what you salary and bonus figures were, in addition to any severance payments. Your previous employer should also pay you for any accrued PTO, which is not the same as severance so it’s important to know these numbers to avoid an "investigation".

Keep Records – “Work-Search Contacts”

As a prerequisite to receiving benefits you’re required to make a certain amount of work search contacts each week. This is not a physical encounter, or even a bilateral encounter. It can be anything from submitting an application to attending an event.  You don’t have to interact with another person, physically, electronically, technically etc… Keep a log of this because you have to re-apply for benefits every 2 weeks and you can be audited. I have a journal of my work search contacts, and I’ve actually enjoyed keeping it. Whenever I feel like I’m not doing enough, I can look through the journal, calm down, and realize that I’m obsessively looking for work.

Waiting Week

Where’s my $$$! You will not receive any cash from Uncle Sam (or Big Tex in my case since my benefits come from the State of Texas) so hopefully you got some severance.  I imagine this week is very stressful for those who are not shacking up with their gainfully employed boyfriend. If you’re approved for benefits, your first week’s pay will be held until you have received 3 weeks of benefits.  The logic isn’t there but it works, on week 3 I got an extra week's pay. Cha CHING!

Milk It

Who doesn’t have sympathy for the recently laid off? In this economy it’s a scary prospect to be out of work and most people are very sensitive to that.  My advice is to milk it.  Let it be known that you were popped and soak up the benefits. I have gotten free parking, reduced bar tabs, and other courtesies.  It sounds bad, but I would and have extended the same kindness to the laid off, chronically laid off, and serial laid off. It’s my turn!

2.       Navigate Friends and Social Situations

Treatment of “Favors”

When you suddenly have a lot of free time on your hands the favor requests start to pour in.  This is counterintuitive because since I've been laid off I've been busier than before trying to find a job, applying for benefits, moving my 401k, researching healthcare plans, etc... But, you will be asked to take care of some favors for friends and family and they can add up if you're not careful.  I’m awful at this. I say do as many favors as possible because when you have the time and ability to help you should take advantage of this opportunity.  It’s a gift to be able to help someone and that shouldn’t be taken for granted. However, some people are lazy and opportunistic.  If you have requests from the later it’s convenient to have “a call”, or “interview”… doesn’t have to be real. But it is really important that you have plenty of time for your job search.  Some applications can take hours and follow-up emails and calls add up. Just say no...

Avoid Fake Sympathy

The overly sympathetic friend or acquaintance can enrage an unemployed person such as myself.  The best way to avoid this is to not make eye contact and smile a lot. When you’re in the presence of a “sympathetic ear” make sure you have plenty of things to talk about and questions for that person that are about them. I find these people are typically also very interested in themselves and/or gossipy.  While looking for the nearest exit, direct the conversation towards them and seem happy so that when they go off gossiping to the next person they will tell them that you seem to be doing well. Run for the exit.

Navigate Social Situations

Socializing can be brutal for the unemployed. Because, who wants to talk about what could have been, what job you’re chasing, the recently returned email/glimmer of hope, the latest job rejection, or how you have been “staying busy”. All of these things make me SICK. One solution is to arrive late. I find that if you’re late, the conversations are already going and you can just join in unnoticed. Also, if you’re a girl, don’t go to the bathroom with other girls. That’s when they will get you in the corner and talk slowly, at a slightly higher interval with tilt their heads tilted just a bit in sympathy. These type of girls are probably not interested in having a career, or have never had a job or responsibilities. Make sure your bathroom visits are alone to avoid the awkwardness.

Socializing, however, is so important for the unemployed because it is the best way to market yourself and make some “work search contacts”.  If there is a professional event, or a social outing (happy hour, birthdays of friends or colleagues), I try to use it as an opportunity to meet new people and let them know that I’m looking for work. It’s really surprising how eager to help strangers and new acquaintances can be.

This short list helps me manage the day-to day with the least amount of angst and frustration. Once you master it you can live off the government and enjoy sweet alone-time! Now back to the job boards.