Friday, October 14, 2011

RIF-ed


Axed, popped, canned, shit canned, laid…off. It’s the white collar death sentence.  In this economy with unemployment exceeding 9% nationally for 3 years having a job is quite the accomplishment.  I read somewhere that only half of college graduates since 2006 have jobs, and now I have joined the unfortunate half.

Because my blog is a happy place, I haven’t been able to write for some time. While I do express various frustrations here, it’s all part of loving everything, all of the stuff in life.  The frustrations and challenges keep it real and give us inspiration for making or doing something better or different.  When you get laid off , these basic premises of life are more difficult to discern and balance.  For example, the “lay off” or “rif” is carried out in a very meticulous and strategic way.  There is a script, and no matter how much you think you know the person you work for, the HR people, and any of the leadership the ONLY thing they can say to you is: “It was a business decision”.  Here is a little dialogue from when I was canned.

Boss: “We had to make a tough business decision to reduce staff, and your position was selected to be eliminated”.
Me: “Okay, I understand that. What about other positions that are open at the firm, we have a few online that I feel I would be qualified for, and I already know the business well so it would be an easy transition.”
HR Person: “We made an announcement to reduce staff, and we have made a business decision to eliminate your position”
Me: “I understand that, however I’ve been approached by other department leaders that wanted to hire me because I have a good reputation at the firm, I’m licensed, and can work in different areas.  If I would have known that my position would be eliminated, I would have taken any of these jobs, even at a reduced salary.  I really don’t want to be unemployed right now.”
Boss: “Your work was great, but with the recent announcements to sell assets etc… we do not need your department… I’m not good at this HR Person is better at explaining these things.”
HR Person, (who is very nice, but doesn’t know anything about my job, and would have to go back to school to understand it):  “Yes, it’s not a reflection on you, this was a BUSINESS DECISION, we regret to let you go.  We have prepared a severance package that I would like to explain to you now.”
Me: “Okay, let’s take a look.”
HR Person: “Blah blah balh, severance agreement, Blah Blah, Balh COBRA, Blah Blah Blah Blah, move your 401K, blah blha Business Decision, blah blah, outplacement firm…”
Boss:  "I’ll wait to escort you out of the building.,”
Me: Thanks, I’ll be quick.
In the next room, a very kind small guy waits to “counsel” me about what just happened. I enter the room:
Outplacement firm guy: "Hello, my name is “Bill”, I’m here to help you.”
Me: “Thanks Bill, I don’t have much time to talk right now and I have a lot on my mind so can we reschedule?”
Bill: “Sure, I would be glad to talk to you, did you know you were getting laid off?”
Me (not wanting to admit my formerly-irrational fear of getting laid off): “No, but I have been looking since August for a better place to work.”
Bill: “I understand, you need to work for a company that is growing and I have some in mind that we can talk about when you’re ready.  Here is a folder with some information. We would like for you to come in soon to get started.”
Me: “Thanks Bill.”
Outiside HR Person and Boss are waiting.  I go over to my cube and Boss is apologizing again and again, but it’s too late for me. If he really wanted to help his chance was weeks ago. I packed up my things while he waited, and asked him to give various items to other people around the office.

Then we went outside and I stuck around for a bit while he had a cigarette.  He didn’t even offer me one. It would have been the perfect way to finish the layoff in style! Rather, a few other smokers from work came out, and in order not to make this situation any more awkward I decided to leave.

So yeah, it was a “Business Decision”. Boss, did any of your happy hour buddies get rif-ed?

I’m not upset with Boss, I’m upset with myself for getting into this situation. I should have hustled, and gotten into a more secure position. Instead, I was trusting and hoping that since Boss never mentioned anything negative, that I was doing a good job. The truth that I learned is that he was avoiding me because he could never fire a friend. Being nice and popular is important to him. While I consider myself to be nice and popular, it’s not because I try to be nice or popular.  Rather, I try to be kind and honest.  You can be kind while delivering bad news, which is necessary sometimes when you’re honest.  People who don’t tell the truth, don’t like to hear it. Reduction in Force (past tense)

SO, for those of you that know me personally, I was treated very well by my previous employer and I hope that things will get better for them, and trust that they are taking the steps necessary to right the ship!  Ahoy!

That is my lay-off story.   I will try to write more frequently for my supportive and beautiful audience (Lacey and Chelsea are the best!).  


4 comments:

  1. Boss can suck a bag of dicks. (JKz!)

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  2. Love you, lady! We are going to make this a beautiful space for you to write and have fun. Make the best of it, you hard worker. Get some sleep.

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  3. Lacey, thanks for summing up my post so eloquently. Chelsea, I can't wait to remodel my blog with you!

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